Analysis Paralysis

Hello again,

It has been, well I don’t know… SIX months since I have posted anything. Local LaMarca’s is something that I think about often but never seem to feel inspired or creative enough to follow through with  – let alone come up with anything of substance that’s remotely worth uploading on a public platform. I’ve learned that I am an enneagram type one… if you are familiar with the ins and outs of personality tests this “type” means that I am such a perfectionist that I often suffer from analysis paralysis… and in the case of my little dream of having a place to upload all of the pictures I take, or writing anything about them… I seem to have stalled. So – New Year’s Resolution: post things more often, tell no one, and see where it lands on the scale of things that “spark joy” (Shout out to Marie Kondo). If you’ve made it this far – Kudo’s to you and welcome to the revival of Local LaMarca’s.

“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.” – Anthony Bourdain

When people go on mission trips, or extended trips around the world, they often go through a period of mourning and adjustment upon their return – this sometimes happens because they’ve just experienced something too incredible to put into words and often times, they’ve changed because of it. Finding your place in the world again, after a life altering experience can be a challenging and lengthy process. Now, we were only gone for two weeks, so by no means did I expect to acquire those feelings – and yet, they found me. Suddenly, after travelling to Disney World, being in Thailand for two weeks, and ending on a long road trip with my best friend to Colorado, I was “home” for the foreseeable future. Now – for those of you who don’t know; Josh and I had been living in West Texas for a couple of years and just before we left for Thailand (as in the week before) we packed up our lives and moved to Dallas, Texas. So when I say I was returning “home,” what I really mean is I was suddenly in this completely new life where I didn’t have a full time job, I lived in a new city I knew nothing about, OH AND – I was alone because Josh still had a couple of weeks of work to finish up in West Texas. So yeah… I was hit with the “what on EARTH do I do now?!” feels.

Fast forward to today; it has been about six months since all of those life changes occurred and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Part of that may be due to the fact that I am travelling to Israel in a month, or that we may be booking tickets to Tomorrowland soon (seriously that sentence is just a synopsis of who I am as a person) – but I think it’s largely to do with the fact that I’ve become more okay with the idea of being deeply seated in a season of growth. After months of searching (and questioning), I stumbled into a job with a company that serves churches and organizations by customizing group travel of biblical significance; it’s basically the job I never knew existed that I’ve always wanted. Hence, travelling to Israel in 30 days. I feel like this is an opportunity. As I prepare to go through another life altering experience – I want to focus on returning home better this time. I want to take the experiences I have and apply them to myself and my life at home. Embracing cultural differences is one of the things we loved most about Thailand, I think it is one of the reasons people fall in love with travelling. It makes the world seem smaller and larger all at the same time. I know that Israel is going to be something that shakes me to my core and as much as I want to be the person that takes up my life and travels the world, that will most likely never be my reality. So instead, I want to be the person that takes up my cross, and uses what I learn to make “home” something I am more thankful for and something I can pour into more. I don’t entirely know what that looks like yet – but I intend on spending the next 30 days of preparation, and my 14 days in Israel to figure that out.

– BaileyIMG_1389

PS – Favorites that went unshared:

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